Oct
14

The Skinny Jeans Dilemma

Skinny Jeans!

To wear or not to wear..? That is the question. Ah yes, those skinny jeans. Have you tried em yet? Sure they’re tight (they’re supposed to be) and may feel weird on your legs. But how long can you ignore current fashion trends before you give them some attention?

More and more companies are making their most stylish jeans… skinny! And I know what you’re thinking… you’ll never wear them. You don’t want to wear skin tight jeans that hug your lower half so confined that you can barely walk. And you think the skinny jeans with that “sag” look is ridiculous! Our generation grew up wearing baggy clothes anyway, in particular with our jeans. But the days of the baggy jean are over! And here’s why:

Why Embrace The Skinny Jeans?
1. Wear Jeans that Fit!
Grown men do not wear jeans that fall off their rump, not three sizes too big, nor do they wear their grandfather’s brands. Our mother’s used to buy us clothes that fit for a reason (mother’s know best)! Wear jeans around your waist or hips.
2. One Percent Drop Rule
100% cotton skinny jeans will make you feel like you just pulled both of your hamstrings. Instead, read the fabric makeup of the jeans before you buy them. If the jeans have at least 1% spandex, they will stretch and mold to your lower half. This will also prevent the slim fit jeans from ripping. Guys- an inside scoop is that most women’s jeans are made with some sort of spandex. Did you really think she spent half an hour jumping up and down in them jeans, trying to get her belt to fasten?? No!!! Her jeans stretch! And yours will too!
3. Styles
The most stylish and trendier denim nowadays are made in skinny jeans. The baggy look is out. Don’t believe it? Go to any urban/contemporary store and find out for yourself.
4. Fits
These days men’s jeans come in a variety of fits. Regular rise vs. low rise. Boot leg vs. straight leg. Loose fit vs. slim fit. So many choices, different fits for different occasions. You don’t wear the same jeans to the club as you do when you’re tailgating, right? The bottom line is, you gotta switch it up every now and then.
5. Side Effects
If you notice your bulging legs ready to “Incredible Hulk” out of your skinny jeans, then you have reason to show off your muscular lower limbs. If its just the opposite… either you have scrawny or plump legs, then you need to get to the gym. That’s right, these jeans will either get you to the gym or keep you there! See the squat rack. P.S.- Don’t workout in jeans.

All in all, you’ve got to do what makes you feel comfortable. But  you can’t knock it til you try it. Give these a shot and sure it’ll feel a little different at first. Relax though, anything new takes a while to get used to. It may seem weird, but wear em with confidence. If you’re ready to take the plunge, follow the next steps to complete the outfit..

How To Pull It Off
Lean? Skinny jeans with a graphic tee and chucks.
Athletic? Slim fit dress shirt with shoe boots.
Papi Gordito? Hooded merino wool sweater and fashionable sneakers.

Trust!

Where to Get Em From? Got That Covered Too…
Diesel$$$$
Armani Exchange$$$$
Guess$$$$
Express$$$
Lucky Brand$$$$
H&M$$
Gap$$$
Abercrombie and Fitch$$$
JC Penny$
Levi’s$$
Metropark$$$$

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About Joaquin

Joaquin is an alumnus from the Alpha Gamma Chapter at Grand Valley State University (MI) and Senior Editor of El Iluminador. Joaquin's writing specialties are farcical & satirical humor, self-help guides, popular/culture phenomena, and other creative pieces.

  • Will V

    R U SERIOUS?!
    .
    .
    .
    A SKINNY JEANS ARTICLE?!

    IN EL ILUMINADOR?!

    WHAT THE HECK!?!
    .
    .
    .
    IM ALL FOR FASHION BUT!!!….WHEN DID THIS BECOME TEEN PEOPLE?!
    .
    .
    .
    I DON’T WEAR SKINNY JEANS CUZ MY KNOTS DONT FIT!

  • Michael Woo

    There have been a few other articles published via MensHealth and Esquire concerning style repercussions of skinny jeans. Despite the fashionability of these throwbacks from the 70s and 80s and the inevitable reimmergence of the skinny jean in the future, trends show that this is ephemeral. Stick with the classics and get things that are consistently in fashion of high quality wear and thread count and you’ll be James Dean not Zak Effron.

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  • Malcolm Clarke

    this is an enlightening article, maximo!

  • Daniel Laracuente

    “i can rock fitted jeans cause my credit card skinny”

    and as for the article, betas are aware of everything going on in the world. including fashion and cultural trends–such as skinny jeans.

    you cant omit certain things just because not everyone connects to it, I enjoyed the article, good job Maximo.

  • Taylor

    What the heck?!!! What women’s item are you going to promote next? Thongs for men? Women that like these on men obviously like to date girly men. You know…someone that shops in the same section they do so they don’t have split up at the store.

  • Taylor

    This is so rediculous, I have to comment twice. You could have a new brand called “nutcrackers” or “bird legs” or “Because She Got Tired Of Your Pants Not Fitting Her And Forced You To Wear Hers.” In twenty years, you’ll be saying “Tutus are the next skinny jean craze.”

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  • http://facebook.com/kassandragabrielaaa Kassie

    this hilarious.
    i love guys in skinnies.

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  • http://www.jeanswomenskiny.com jeansskinnywomen

    This is a great article! Not sure what you usually post on here (judging from the comments–not skinny jeans fashion tips) but I’m coming back. Hilarious and educational. Just like my high school chemistry class!

  • http://www.clothingfashion123.com Jack

    that is a good idea.

  • clever

    the article was insightful but remember that there is a difference between slim fit jeans and skinny jeans, that being said if you have 100% cotton slim fit jeans you will definatly not pull a hamstring lol… by the way for those who like to wear their jeans under their rumps… it is believed that in jail men who where their jeans like that is because their "rump" has an owner… but yea over all amazing article

  • Sway C

    Haha skinny jeans!!! I guess EVERYTHING lil wayne does people gotta imitate. I hope he starts wearing heels next just so I can see how many guys rock those too. We come from the baggy jeans era and jus cuz 14 year olds are now wearing skinny jeans does not make it a GOOD fashion sense. More power to all of you wearing the skinnies though…do ur thing playboy.

  • tommie

    I'm so glad we are going to start seeing jeans that actually fit the guy that is wearing them. If you can get slim fit jeans with 2% spandex you will find them to be the most comfortable jeans you have ever worn. I've been riding a motorcycle for 45 years, jeans with two percent spandex is the only way to be comfortable on a bike and not get the pinched nut syndrome. Also, most girls like a nice butt on guys, and the slim fit jeans flatter a nice butt.

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  • http://www.cheapskinnyjeans.org Sarah

    I didn’t really like Skinny Jeans on my b/f at first, but they’ve definitely grown on me. They’re definitely stylish with a certain pizazz, but NOTE…it’s not for everybody!